Knees Disturb Me, True Story

Photo by The Latest Slub:

I don't know why, but for the longest time I've had a phobia of knees. Like, seriously, knees disturb me and they're my least favorite body part. Maybe it has something to do with not one, but both of my knees dislocating. In the summer of 2010, I was just minding my own business, walking back into my grandma's house after an afternoon of blissful swimming, when boom, my knee does some weird Matrix move and I'm on the ground with my right knee cap out of place. One of the most scariest things that ever happened and one of the the weirdest because I had to go to the hospital in my bathing suit which was highly awkward.

That moment, of course, was not the worst. The next summer, I'm at the beach, enjoying that disgusting Californian water, when yet again, my knee dislocates- this time my left knee. If you were wondering, yes, I did go to the hospital in my bathing suit for a second time. Such a joyous moment in my life. Anyone, I just find knees SO disturbing and creepy. Plus, they are really ugly to me and I just shudder when someone bangs up their knee, like ew. I seriously hate them and I hate the accessories I have to wear to prevent them from dislocating again. I had to wear a full leg brace like the one in the picture above and it was so embarrassing and bulky.

Last year, to prevent another dislocation, my mother insisted I wear smaller knee braces every second of the day. Thanks Mom. I so cleverly kept the dreaded device hidden under my jeans until the worst hour of the day came- Physical Education. So, the braces were exposed. So this one girl saw I was wearing them and came up to me with this creepy grin on her face saying "Wanna see something cool?" All I could think of was "Yeah, um, no thanks. Maybe next time," when she popped her knee out and popped it back in. It was so disgusting!

I also did some research, and I found out knee dislocations are pretty rare. Which means I'm special, haha, yeah, no. Since this has occurred to me personally twice, I know it's very painful, your knee grows three times larger out of swellings, and it usually occurs after a major incident. I had no major incidents before my knee dislocations unless you count swimming as a major event. What I think happened is that the water somehow softened up my ligaments so that the tissue was too weak to keep my knee steady. No matter the reason, knees will always disturb me and I hate living in fear that my knees will dislocate again, because if that happens, I'll have to get surgery. Knees are just disturbing.